Time has a way of tricking us.
It tells us that we “should be over it by now.” That there’s an expiration date for pain, for memory, for sorrow. That the deeper the calendar moves from the moment of loss, the more healed we should be.
But grief does not follow a schedule. It does not fade just because the world expects it to.
The Ache That Lingers
There’s an ache that doesn’t disappear—no matter how many birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries have passed. It’s not as loud as it used to be. But it shows up in the quiet, in the stillness, in the moments that matter most. You might laugh again. You might build again. You might lead again. But beneath the surface, there’s still a longing… for what was, for who they were, for how life used to feel.
That ache doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve loved deeply.
Grief Is Not a Disorder
We must reject the narrative that grief is something to be “cured.” It is not a disease. It is a dimension of love—a sacred space where memory and meaning coexist. Some grief will always walk with you, and that’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a reflection of your humanity.
You don’t owe anyone your healing timeline. You don’t have to apologize for the days that still hurt, even after years have gone by.
There’s Room for Joy and Grief Together
It’s possible to hold grief in one hand and gratitude in the other. To move forward with purpose while still carrying pieces of pain. To plan for the future while still honoring the past. This is not contradiction—it’s wholeness.
There is a holy permission to feel what you feel, as long as you need to feel it.
Some losses shift the atmosphere of your life forever. And while time may dull the edges, it doesn’t erase the impact. You don’t need to rush back to normal. There is no “normal” after grief. There is only new—a different version of you, walking with both healing and hurt.
And that is okay.
Selah Moment with Dr. Althea Winifred
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